Yes, I am aware that this statement is something a Debbie Downer would say, but sadly it’s true. As a senior in high school whose generation is evolving with the internet, I have seen, heard and experienced a lot when it comes to social media and technology — I mean, it’s what we do. While I try to make the most of it, whenever I scroll past hate comments left on profiles of popular influencers, political figures, or even my friend’s accounts I think, “they don’t deserve hate, why them? why anyone?” This, my friends, is why you can never win.
When I got the opportunity to travel to Italy about 5 ½ years ago with my family and our best friends, I took a photo in Tuscany of me jumping, doing a stag split leap with bent legs (dancers will understand) with the sunset in the background, holding my mom’s hand. I was so passionate about dance at the time (I still participate in it, just not as many classes). I posted the photo and that was when I got my first hateful comment. Granted, I was a HUGE tomboy at the time and wore what were considered “boy athletic shorts,” with a baggy t-shirt and basketball shoes my uncle gave me (which I wore everyday). There should be no issue with girls dressing as tomboys, I felt comfortable, happy, and I didn’t care about what I wore as long as it checked those two boxes, comfortable and happy. But one woman had a problem with it and instead of keeping her opinions to herself, this 30 year old woman, whom I didn’t personally know, commented on my post 10 times. She got more specific about why she hated the way I dressed and how I looked in each comment. Yes, it felt bad. However, I chose not to care. But no matter how I responded to that woman, I could never win. You can try to change someone’s opinion, but it is hard and honestly should you waste your time trying? I don’t believe so, unless you are unbelievably passionate about it. If I get comments similar to that today I would probably feel defeated for a minute but quickly realize that it is SOCIAL MEDIA and people will tear you down to make themselves feel good. As long as I love what I post, I don’t care what others think. I have friends and family who will support me no matter what, and I will do the same for them.
This same logic of not being able to change someone’s mind easily goes with everything else in life and is the same reason you can never win. People are entitled to their own opinions, thanks to the first amendment, oftentimes they like to see you suffer trying to convince them otherwise (especially in politics). My favorite saying is “I might not agree with you, but I will always fight to protect your opinion” because it’s simple, straight to the point, and true. I love listening to both sides of an argument (this could be for anything, not just politics or social media) because it helps me keep an open mind and I think everyone should have an open mind and heart. That reminds me of the “not a single story” project I did freshman year. Anyways, I am getting off topic.
In no way am I saying that you won’t win at anything — you can win at nearly everything if you put your mind to it. You can beat your inner demons. You can overcome a fear, heartbreak, or beat an illness and so many other obstacles that one faces on a daily basis. But what I am saying is that you cannot win on social media. People feed off of lies and manipulate words to the point where it is the complete opposite of what was originally said. Some people aren’t interested in the truth and those haters really aren’t interested in you. If someone makes a hateful comment on your post and you ask them why they did it, they might not respond or might say “because it’s true” and THAT is when you lose. You lose by engaging, falling into their trap — that’s what they want! Silence is deafening which is why they WANT you to respond. They NEED the attention. They CRAVE the satisfaction of tearing someone else down so they can feel better about themselves and their lives. It is best to ignore haters. They might comment again, or a hundred more times. Don’t give them what they want. Don’t let them win. Even thinking about responding is letting them win. Whenever you deal with haters or bullies (unfortunately I still deal with them in high school, I thought my peers would have grown up by now), don’t let what they say or do affect who YOU are. Remember you are special and amazing. You bring something to this world that nobody else can offer. And you wouldn’t be here right now if you weren’t strong enough to conquer everything that lies ahead of you.